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They're usually displayed near the contraceptives. Try one-word coaching. The most powerful erotic word is "yes. The next time you make love, when your partner does something you enjoy, say, "yes" or "ahhh.

It rarely takes long for lovers to provide more of what elicits a "yes" and less of what's greeted by silence.

You quickly get more of what you enjoy and never have to complain. Next: Schedule time for lovemaking on your calendar.

Do it earlier. Twenty or 30 years ago, you could work all day, enjoy event-filled evenings, and still have enough energy to return home and dance the horizontal bop.

But now, when 10 o'clock rolls around, there's only one thing you want to do in bed, sleep. Many older couples notice immediate sexual enhancement when they make love in the morning or afternoon.

Sex is not strenuous, but it takes energy, and older couples have more of it earlier in the day. Pencil it in. When people fall in love, they can't keep their hands off each other but the hot-and-heavy period rarely lasts more than a year or two.

After that, one person typically wants sex more than the other. In two-thirds of couples, it's the man, according to sex therapists, but in one-third, the woman has more libido.

Desire differences often become a chronic relationship irritant. They can drive people crazy and ruin sex. No wonder they're a leading reason why couples consult sex therapists.

To resolve desire differences, sex therapists recommend taking a few minutes a month to schedule sex in advance. When couples do this in good faith, the higher-libido lover no longer has to grovel, and the lower-libido lover no longer feels besieged.

Over time, the resentments engendered by the desire difference fade, and as the conflict subsides, relationship and sexual satisfaction improve.

To schedule sex, the first issue is: How often? Of course, that's up to you, and there's no right or wrong.

But according to the landmark "Sex in America" survey, most couples over 50 make love one to three times a month. Decide on your frequency, and then get out your calendars.

Almost inevitably, the lower-libido lover objects, saying, "What if I'm not in the mood? Most lower-libido spouses are surprised to discover that when they no longer exhaust themselves fending off nightly advances, they feel open to sex when it's scheduled.

Still skeptical? Try scheduling for a few months, and if you don't like it, stop. You are leaving AARP. Please return to AARP.

Manage your email preferences and tell us which topics interest you so that we can prioritize the information you receive.

In the next 24 hours, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription to receive emails related to AARP volunteering.

Once you confirm that subscription, you will regularly receive communications related to AARP volunteering. In the meantime, please feel free to search for ways to make a difference in your community at www.

Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again. One of the best ways to combat this extremely common natural side effect of aging is with a good-quality lubricant.

Using lube is a simple and inexpensive way to make sex feel comfortable again for an older woman experiencing discomfort because of vaginal dryness.

Finally, small dietary changes may make a big difference in the bedroom for older couples. The following are examples of such foods:.

Older men also experience their share of sexual challenges, the most common of which is erectile dysfunction.

Fortunately for men with ED and their partners , there are numerous effective medical treatments and therapies that can help prevent this condition from becoming long term.

For both men and women, another excellent strategy for making sex more enjoyable is to experiment with different kinds of prolonged physical touch, especially if you are working to rekindle sexual desire after a long dry spell.

Where we like being touched, how we like being touched, even who we want to touch us may change. Let the changes be an opportunity to explore.

Make a date with yourself or your partner to rediscover how your body responds. In a private, relaxed setting, spend a long, languid, sensual time touching without any goal except to experience sensation and pleasure.

You may discover some new erogenous zones! Try different kinds of touch — slow, fast, light, firm, stroking, circling. Just enjoy learning what feels really good.

When you free yourself from expectations based on other people or your past experiences, you empower your own happiness.

This process will look different for every person and every couple, and the things you try can range from spending more time cuddling to experimenting with new positions and techniques in the bedroom.

Be open and honest with yourself and your partner about what feels good and how your sexual interests and feelings may have changed over the years.

The more you practice acceptance and take pressure off yourself and your partner to perform or respond in a certain way during sex, the deeper and more satisfying your sexual experiences will become, no matter your age.

Join the Community: Sex After 50 Discussions. WW will help you build a customized weight loss plan. Give or get help during the Coronavirus pandemic.

You are leaving AARP. Please return to AARP. Manage your email preferences and tell us which topics interest you so that we can prioritize the information you receive.

In the next 24 hours, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription to receive emails related to AARP volunteering.

Once you confirm that subscription, you will regularly receive communications related to AARP volunteering. In the meantime, please feel free to search for ways to make a difference in your community at www.

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